Every year, as the holidays approach, I hear the same whispers in conversations:
“I’m going to be good until Thanksgiving.”
“I’ll start fresh in January.”
“If I can just avoid the dessert table, I’ll be good.”
“I just need to get back on track.”
And I get it — with so many parties, treats and traditions, it’s easy to feel like food needs to be tightly managed this time of year. But here’s the unexpected truth: When you spend the weeks leading up to the holidays trying to “be good,” you’re actually setting yourself up for the very thing you’re trying to avoid — overeating, guilt and that post-meal “I need to unbutton my pants” feeling.
Why Restriction Doesn’t Work (Even When It Feels Like It Should)
When you tell yourself certain foods are off-limits or try to “save up” calories before a big meal, your body and brain respond the only way they know how — by fixating on what’s been restricted. It’s not about willpower. It’s biology.
So when that food finally becomes available, it’s easy to swing to the other extreme. You eat quickly, you eat past fullness, and then you feel frustrated — like you failed. But the real problem isn’t you. It’s the all-or-nothing mindset.
A Healthier (and Happier) Way to Approach Holiday Food
What if instead of trying to control every bite, you focused on trusting your body a little more? That’s the heart of what I teach my clients: finding balance that is body led.
Here are a few ways to start:
- Eat consistent meals. Skipping breakfast to “save room” for dinner usually backfires. When you show up to the table starving, it’s much harder to listen to fullness cues.
- Choose satisfying foods. Restriction leads to rebellion. If you really want mashed potatoes, have them. Satisfaction helps you stop when you’re full.
- Slow down and savor. Give your body time to register fullness before going back for seconds.
- Ditch the food guilt. One meal won’t undo your health. But guilt can undo your peace.
- Shift your mindset. Even if you’re not physically restricting, thoughts like “I shouldn’t eat this” still create stress. Instead, remind yourself: “I’m allowed to enjoy this.”
When you let go of the pressure to be perfect, it becomes easier to eat in a way that feels calm, balanced and satisfying — not out of control.
Health Without Obsession
Somewhere along the way, we started equating “healthy” with being disciplined, thin or always micromanaging every bite – and that if someone isn’t actively trying to lose weight or cut carbs, we assume they don’t care about their health.
But true health includes mental and emotional well-being too — feeling present, enjoying meals with loved ones and not constantly worrying about food.
Food rules and a diet-focused culture have made many of us feel like we can’t trust our bodies — like we’d only eat cookies, pizza and chips if there weren’t rules telling us we “should” eat vegetables. But your body is designed to seek balance. When you start listening to it again, you’ll notice that satisfaction, variety and even those veggies find their way back naturally.
So this holiday season, instead of trying to “be good,” try to be at peace with food. Your body (and your mind) will thank you for it.
If this message resonates with you — if you’re tired of feeling like food is another thing you’re doing “wrong” — I’d love to help.
Learn more about my upcoming course or schedule a free 15-minute discovery call to explore a confident, more balanced approach to food at foodfreedommomma.com.
—
Claire Harpster is a Registered Dietitian based in State College. She helps busy women and moms ditch chronic dieting, reconnect with their bodies, and find confidence in how they nourish themselves. You can learn more at foodfreedommomma.com or reach out to her on Instagram at instagram.com/food.freedom.momma.
